14 Weeks Post Op (Weigh In and Update on My Grandma)

I'm so happy to say that I've dropped a few more pounds since last Thursday. I'm officially down to 214 pounds. That's a total of 66 pounds lost. Let's see, I passed up my 3 month goal before I hit 3 months and I'm almost to my 6 month goal....I'm just past 3 months now....wow! My 6 month goal is to lose 50% of my excess weight which is 75 pounds. I have 9 more pounds to go! Can you believe it? I can't! This is one of the best things I've ever done for myself and if you're still sitting pretty on the fence and are not sure what to do, I'll tell you...of course, it's a decision you have to make for yourself but I would do it all over again knowing what I know now. It hasn't been easy but it has been a lot easier than trying to lose it on my own. I still have to make wise decisions when it comes to what passes over my tongue...right? And I have to remember to eat...this is a big one because my appetite is still very low. That's good but I don't want to lose all my hair or starve myself either. Oh...and I still have times where I fight my brain off of the food! You know what I mean! I'm usually not hungry but emotions can and will fly at times and my brain starts sending those horrible signals to who knows where but it makes me want to eat things that I definitely shouldn't... considering that I'm trying to lose weight. But you know what, sometimes I still have them....see.....

 Just kidding!!! Oh please don't scold me for that one....I just wanted the shock factor. he he

No....now this is what I had when the family had the Big Blue floats. It looks like a lot because the picture is huge but that is a 4 ounce little jar and it's just a little over half full. And I didn't eat it all!

I never made it to my 3 month check up so I don't have an update for you from the doctor. They called me that morning and had to cancel it because I was scheduled with the nurse practitioner and she called in sick. So, I now have it rescheduled for this next Monday and I will actually get to see my surgeon. Hopefully, he's just as excited over my weight loss as I am. And hopefully, my blood test will come out okay. I'm a little worried because I've constantly been exhausted, no matter how much sleep I get, over the last month, month and a half. So, we'll see!

Oh, I'm not sure if I mentioned in a past post that my hubby took pictures of me. When I looked at them I was devastated! Needless to say, I sure wasn't going to post them on here. I still looked just as fat as before! He assured me that the pictures didn't reflect a true image of what I really look like now. I told him pictures don't lie! Then I put the pictures on the computer and low and behold, I looked super short! I realized that when he was taking the pictures that he stood really close and was looking almost down at me. He's over 6 foot tall and I'm only 5'4". So it made me look very short (squished!) and super fat! So eventually I will have him take the pictures again but I haven't been ready again because I'm afraid of what the outcome will be this time.

Since my grandmother has been sick and in the hospital, I've stopped writing everything down....yes, again! I just decided to try to do my best at making sure that I was getting in my protein and plenty of water. I was short sometimes but I couldn't help it. It has been incredibly crazy over the past 3 weeks! I ran here and there...hospital, appointments, practices, homeschooling my son (Yes, if I haven't mentioned that, I do homeschool my son and it's a full time job.), and hospital again...and more running here and there! Sometimes life is so unpredictable and you just have to do what you have to do.

My grandmother? Well, at the beginning of this week, we all thought she was going to die. I've never seen anyone in the state that she was in. I went into CCU to see her and she was moaning. Constantly saying, "ohhhhhh....ohhhhhh". It broke my heart! Her eyes were glazed over and her head would thrash back and forth. She wouldn't respond at all except she would stop for just a second and look at me when I'd say, "Grandma" really loud. For just that second, I'd think she was going to respond but then she would go right back to her thrashing and moaning. The doctors wouldn't even give us a glimpse of an outlook. I think they thought she might not make it either.

Then, Monday night, all the sudden, she snapped out of it somewhat. God's divine intervention! She was responding and talking a little bit but not making any sense. Then as the days past, she got a little better and then a lot better. Now, she still has a very weak heart that still needs attention. And her kidneys are still not working. She's having to go through dialysis about every other day. These things are still very scary and very real to us but we'll take one day at a time. But they did move her into a step down room from CCU and now we can actually stay in her room with her all the time. So there's another huge improvement. I went to the hospital on Wednesday and she was joking around and letting the nurses have it when she thought necessary. lol She told the cardiologist, which by the way had seen her a ton of times but of course she didn't remember...but anyways, she told him when he walked in that if he was a doctor that he could come talk to her but if he was a priest, that she didn't need him anymore! Ha! I love it! Even the doctor committed that this was the first time he'd heard her talk so much and make sense. They also took her heart pump out and placed a feeding tube last week. Now, they have removed the feeding tube and she can eat or drink whatever she wants. No limits right now! She wanted to get out of bed and walk but they had put a temporary port on her legs for the dialysis and it made it impossible for her to get up. So they plan on removing that and putting it on her neck. They are a little concerned about removing it because of the medications she takes that thin her blood so much. They don't want her to bleed to death. Anyways, she has a long way to go but I'm so excited about her turn-around this week. I was totally shocked! Thank you all for your prayers and please keep praying!

13 Weeks Post Op (Weekly Weigh In and My Grandmother Needs Prayers)

Hi all! This past week I haven't lost much. I'm now down to 219 lbs. That's a total of 61 pounds lost so far. Not bad! I'm very pleased with that number by the way. I just wish the chunks of weight would fall off again. I had a very sweet friend tell me today that I really need to stop weighing in every single day and just weigh in once a week. I know in a way she's so right but I suppose I'm addicted to that silly scale. I told her I might have to wing myself off it. lol That maybe I would start with just every other day and work my way down to just once a week. I know, doesn't that just sound ridiculous that I can't stop myself. Ha!

Tomorrow I have my 3 month check-up with my surgeon. I think this is when they will run blood test to make sure I'm not missing anything. I'll let you all know what I find out.

Also, please pray for my grandmother. She had a heart attack almost 2 weeks ago. She didn't go to the hospital until 3 days after the heart attack. This, unfortunately, caused some damage to her heart muscle. But the doctors decided to treat it using only medication. They didn't want to talk about surgery yet until they see how she would do.

She went home last Friday to my mom's house. My mom said that by Saturday she could tell that something wasn't right because all she would do was sleep and wouldn't eat anything. Then Monday morning around 10 a.m., my grandmother told my mom to call 911 because she was having another heart attack. This time it was a major heart attack! They rushed her to the hospital...lights and sirens! The doctors inserted a temporary pump into her heart so that her heart wouldn't have to work so hard. They also inserted a temporary balloon in her artery to open it up. That meant that she had to lay flat on her back until they removed it. We also found out that her kidneys were failing because of the dye they had to use at both hospitals. Apparently the dye is fatally poisonous to kidneys that aren't in tiptop shape. But they had to do it so they could see what was going on in her heart. She has been in horrible pain even with the hardcore pain medication. Also, because of all the fluid backing up in her body, she wasn't allowed any food including tube feeding. Tuesday and Wednesday, we really weren't sure she was going to make it through the night. She was very weak and wouldn't hardly respond to anyone.

Unfortunately, her kidneys failing put my grandmother in grave condition. She has been in CCU for 5 days now and the cardiologist came in today and said that they will never be able to operate on her because it would kill her. I left out that because her kidneys are failing that she was put on dialysis yesterday. Her body was building up with fluids and this was causing lots of problems. She could barely breath, it was messing with her memory, she was so sick! I couldn't hardly bare to see her in that condition. But because the dialysis is starting to work, she has been much more aware of her surroundings and was able to hold a conversation. The cardiologist thinks that maybe tomorrow they can take out the pump in her heart and place a feeding tube in her stomach so she can get some nourishment. But that is still up in the air. She has a really long way to go and the cardiologist has no idea how long it will take to get her out of CCU. He said it was touch and go and wait and see. Please pray for her!

I'm sure I'm leaving a lot out but it is so late and I haven't hardly slept in the last 4 days. I hope this all makes sense. Thanks for listening! Please pray!

12 Weeks Post Op (Weekly Weigh In and Making Wise Choices)

Good Evening! So last week I realized that I wasn't doing all that I could be doing to ensure success. So since then I've started logging my daily intake and trying oh so hard to eat and drink what's right. I'm really finding that it is so hard to find foods that have absolutely no carbs unless you eat strictly meat. Milk even has carbs! I have to really pay attention to what's going into my mouth. I find this very frustrating at times but well worth it! And by the way, I haven't been perfect but I'm still losing!

I'm struggling with being sick of meats. I've eaten so many of the same things over and over again that I'm just disgusted by it, whatever IT is. I've even got my husband eating things..like fish...that he wouldn't even consider before because we need to clear some space in the freezer. So someone has to eat what's left and so you know who gets the brunt of all this. lol He's a good sport with a little bit of groaning around the edges. My son will eat almost anything so I don't have to force him. Thank goodness!

So, my weight? Yes, I've lost more! YaY! I'm now down to 220. This is an additional 5 lb. loss since the last time I reported. So my total weight loss now is 60 lbs. WoW!!! I know that there's no way that I could have done this on my own and kept it off. And not to mention, so quickly!

If you've just had surgery or are contemplating it, be encouraged that this does work. I don't have to force myself to stop eating and for the most part, most of the time I'm not hungry at all and I have to remind myself to eat. Before surgery, I was the complete opposite.

Good Grief...What have I been doing?

Good Morning! Well, if you read yesterday's post, you know that I had some changes to make. One of them was to start logging my protein, carbs, and calories again. It's been well over a month since I've last done this! That's not good and I needed my hand slapped a month ago!

So today is Saturday and the morning is kind of a slow one. Good thing because I had time to go dig out an old column pad book that you would normally use for recording some type of budget. I'll use this for a while because it has columns and lots of lines to record what I'm eating. 

Anyways, so far this is what I've recorded:

2 Calcium Citrate Chewables (Lemon)     0 protein/6 carbs/30 calories
8 oz. regular coffee                                    0 protein/0 carbs/0 calories
2 tsp. Coffee Mate Creamer                      0 protein/2 carbs/20 calories
1 tbsp. sugar                                               0 protein/12 carbs/48 calories

TOTAL                                                       0 PROTEIN   /   26 CARBS   /   128 CALORIES

Are you seeing what I'm seeing? Oh my goodness! Look at those carbs! I haven't even eaten breakfast yet and I will have almost consumed my days worth of carbs. Let's see, a days worth is 30-40 grams. Wow! Well, guess what, I'm not going to drink my coffee today! Whaaaaaaa! And it's setting right here sending it's wonderful aromas my way. Do you realize....or do I realize that I've been doing this terrible routine since I was last recording my food intake? I convinced myself that it was only 1 tbsp. of sugar...how bad could it be? See, not recording what you're eating...or plain not paying attention could get you into some serious default of diet. I'm so glad I didn't wait another 3 or 4 months to figure this out. Now, maybe my weight loss will speed up a bit. 

Well, the days not over with yet. I still have 3 meals to record. I may be back on here telling on myself again. lol Hopefully I don't get a massive case of the grumps. No wonder I enjoy my coffee so much! This has to stop now!

Time to Buckle Down!

Well, my friends, I have to say that I've not done all I could to make sure I'm on top of things. This has left me feeling totaling out of control of my weight loss and in the mist of total chaos! As far as food, I've still tried my best to stick with what I'm suppose to be eating. I eat mostly protein and drink lots of water! I take all of my vitamins and my acid reducer. I kind of count my protein and water in my head as I go...that being said...that's scary enough on it's own, counting on my brain to keep track of it all! Also, I've been doing my physical therapy for my hip joint and it's been working wonders but....yes, there's a but....I come home and don't always continue to do the exercises. What's wrong with me???? I wish I knew! Where's my motivation? 

I decided to take my "Weight Log" out that I haven't been using and try to record when I lost the weight and how much. Ugh! This was no easy task! I went back through my blog trying to find dates and amounts. I found most of them but it was confusing and would have been much easier if I'd just weighed and recorded once a week, not just sporadically. I even missed out on blogging my last 4 pounds lost. I blogged about the fact that I was down to 225 but completely missed the boat on noting that those 4 lbs. were gone and when in the world that I actually lost them. Slap my hand! Good grief!!! That just frustrates me more than anything.

So, how will I change all this chaos? For starters, since my surgery was on a Thursday, I will start making that my official weigh in day and for goodness sakes, I will record what the scale says. Then, I can come here and announce my losses or my stand stills. Either way, at least I can look back and see how far I've come.

Also, starting tomorrow, I will record my protein, carbs, and calories on paper. Then maybe, if it's not to cumbersome, I will record my intake on my blog. I don't know! That will be a lot of recording and I might get frustrated writing it down and then typing it all out. I've never been good at that and that was one thing in the past while dieting that I didn't like at all. It will be hard enough for me to record everything on paper but now, I see the need for it. And I think it will keep me on track as far as making positively sure that I'm getting all my protein and water....and staying on the low side of the carbs. Also, I want to make sure that my intake of calories is somewhere between 600-1000. I think I've been coming up on the short end and my body probably thinks I'm starving myself.

And....And...this is the hardest for me....to try to do the exercises my physical therapist has assigned me. AND to start using my treadmill or getting out sometime during the day to walk, ride my son's pedal car, or to go swimming in our neighborhood pool. This is a goal for me to shoot for! I've always hated exercising and to be honest, I just don't want to do it. But between the cortisone shot and the physical therapy, I know it's helping my hip. There's such a difference! I've been almost pain free for over a month now! That's a miracle in itself.

So, this is where I'm at! I will get up tomorrow morning and pep talk myself about all of this again. Hopefully I will stick to my guns! Since I'm blogging this, I feel like I have to do what I'm saying I will do. So maybe I'll have all kinds of things to blog about over the next couple of weeks.

Have a great weekend!

Pictures of My Stomach

Hey all! First, I want to say that this post may be a little bit disturbing and not for the weak at heart. I'll tell you that looking at it actually makes me a little squeamish ... mainly because that was my stomach they took out. 

Yesterday, someone on www.verticalsleevetalk.com asked if anyone was allowed to see their stomach after surgery. Well, I don't remember exactly but I think that most of the replies were a "NO"! But there were some that talked about maybe asking for a picture. Well, I didn't have to ask, my surgeon gave my husband pictures of my insides before I ever came out of recovery. Wow! I'm glad that I didn't mind him seeing that blob of mess! Ha!

Anyways, on with the pictures. I think that I mentioned in a past post that my surgeon also found a hiatal hernia..."..a rather large one," he said! Which explains horrible pains that felt like a heart attack for the last 18 years that no doctor could diagnose. Now, I will be honest with you, I can't make heads or tails of that particular set of pictures. Maybe you can. I can see the repair on the last picture but the others...well, take a look for yourself.

Here's the pictures of my hiatal hernia and it's repair:

Here's pictures of my sleeve and the larger part of my stomach that they removed:

NIV's So Far!

This has definitely been an interesting journey so far. I have definitely had my share of ups and downs (not just my weight). It always seems that as I'm in the mist of feeling like, gosh, this just isn't working out for me, something happens to change my mind. I've given myself lots of pep talks and I've had cries in the mist of many frustrations. Yes, sometimes everything seems like it's going at a snail's pace but when I look back over the last 3-4 months, it feels like it has just flown by. I've now lost a total of 55 lbs. and that puts me at 225. That's less than what I weighed after giving birth to my son 8 years ago. So I suppose I could caught that as one NIV.

A few things that have happened over the last couple of weeks makes me almost believe that my looks are starting to change. When I look in the mirror, I still see a large person but my face has more definition. I can see my jaw bone. I can see some definition in my neck. So there's another couple of NIVs.

I have 2 sister-in-laws. One that I see pretty often and am so incredibly close to. She is my sis! Her and I think just alike. She's one of the most thoughtful and caring people that I know. I love her to pieces! Anyways, I picked her youngest son up from school about a week ago and kidnapped him for the weekend. At one point over the weekend, she came by and got so excited about my weight loss. She said I was looking so cute and ran her hands up and down my sides because they had thinned out so much. I was so excited! She made my day!...My week!!!! She told me that she could really see a difference. Wow! So this is really working! Awesome! Another NIV.

My other sister-in-law which I love also but I'm not as close to because she lives a couple of hours away and we just never see each other much. But I did get to see her yesterday. This was the first time since Christmas that I've seen her. She told me that she could tell that I'd lost a lot of weight and wanted to know what I'd been doing. I never told her that I had surgery and made the ones that knew keep hush, hush about it. Now?!!... I don't care who knows for the most part. So, I told her. She was in shock! But very supportive and told me that she thought I was a very brave person for doing it. That made me feel great! Another NIV!

My clothes are definitely getting too big on me. I've already gone down a couple of sizes in my shirts. My jeans? Ummmm...well, they are really super baggy and I can now get down into the next size. The next size is a 22w. That size fits fine but I like my jeans a little lose so I have still been wearing my 24w....which are a lot lose. HA! I love it! Another NIV!

This weekend I was going through some boxes in the garage that are full of old SMALL clothes and for once, it didn't depress me. I was excited because I knew that there was a big chance that I would be able to fit into a lot, if not all, by next summer...or sooner! Did I say that I love my sleeve?