Today is my baby's 8th birthday!

I love my birthday boy so much and am so thankful that God blessed us with him 8 years ago. He's the best!

Today, we got up bright and early! I took him to get his favorite all time treat, donuts! Of course, I didn't have any but let me tell you, I wanted them. Then I took him to buy a new video game with some of his birthday money. He was so excited! After that, him and I went to the local bounce house and boy, did he burn off those donuts! Ha! We had a lot of fun and I was so thankful that I got to enjoy the day with him.

I had to be back home by 12-1pm to drink my calcium citrate (laxative). Yes, lots of fun! Yeah right! But my son got to play his new game during the afternoon while I packed his and my bag. He's staying with his grandparents for the next 2 or 3 days.

Tonight my husband came home and took him out to ride go-carts and eat. Then he'll be on his way to visit the grandparents. I was so sad when he left. I felt like I would never see him again...as if I would never return. Is that normal to feel that way right before a surgery? Gee, I don't know but it's not a good feeling. I was also sad because we didn't get to celebrate his birthday together as a family. Well, okay that's not true. We celebrated Friday and Saturday with a big day at Celebration Station. Then Sunday, he had a family birthday party at his grandparents. Then Monday, my sister-in-law and my nephews came over to swim...not really birthday celebration but we all spent time together. Then yesterday, my family came to have another birthday party. So, okay....I'm not quite sure what I feeling right now. Emotions are everywhere again! Maybe I'm just sad because I know tomorrow is a big and scary day and I'm feeling as though I'm saying my final goodbyes. All I know, is that I just wish I could get this over with right now so I'd know what's on the other side. I'm sure I will be fine but then, once again, there's the unknown.

Pray for me!

Night Before Surgery!

Wow! I can't believe I arrived at this point. I seem to teeter-tot between sheer panic and quite calmness. I don't know what to say except tomorrow, a lot about the old me will be gone or forever changing. I'm so excited for the future but fear the unknown!

My anesthesiologist called tonight to go over health questions. He reassured me that this was a very safe surgery and that I would be okay. He also said that when they take me back to pre-op, he will put something into my I.V. that will make me fade away and the next thing I know, I will be waking up in recovery. He also stated that since I really have no breathing problems except an occasional asthma attack, that I should do wonderfully under anesthesia and should have no problems waking up. I hope he is right!

Pray for me! God is in control!!!!!

Pre-Op, Day 21 (Almost time!)

Good morning! Gosh, it feels like forever since I posted last. There's been a lot going on! We spent the whole weekend celebrating my son's 8th birthday which comes on Wednesday. The party's not over, it will be a birthday week for him! He's spoiled rotten and he knows it.

I have to say that these last 3 weeks have been a very hard and emotional ride. I've learned so much about myself and my relationship with food. And I realize that I have a long way to go. I have a really good idea as to what causes my emotional meltdowns. For all of you that are just starting your pre-op or about to start, prepare yourself and just know that it will be really hard but that you can do it. I thought, after day 1, that there was no way I could continue to make myself turn down the foods that I so loved but I made myself and now I am proud of myself. This diet has been so incredibly restrictive, never satisfying, and my tummy is always growling with anger but I did it so I could start a new way of life. I did it because I don't want to sit on the sidelines of life all the time...I want to dive back into life again and enjoy every second of it instead of dreading the next day. I know that after surgery, the liquid diet and the mushy diet are hard too but at least my tummy won't be this big empty pit, always wanting more. I will have to learn to eat a lot less and that sounds so good to me.

The truth! The truth is, that now I'm freaking out again about the surgery. I have family members begging me not to do it, that I could die! I would almost go into panic mode talking to them. I asked my husband yesterday if I was doing the right thing and he said you know why you're doing this...you've gone over all the what ifs and all the positive aspects. I'm still freaking out but I realize that most of them have done little to no research and that they are thinking about results from other much more dangerous surgeries than this.

I just keep thinking that most of my stomach will be gone...FOREVER! What if I need it later in life...there's no going back! Do any of you ever feel this way? I'm not really scared of death during surgery anymore. I'm more afraid of 10-20-30 years down the line and how not having a full stomach will affect me. Will it cut my life short? Any opinions? My surgery is in 3 days and it's going to be so hard to drag myself in there knowing what I'm doing to myself. I'm freaking out! Ugh!

Pictures!

Just so you know, if I wasn't about to have this surgery and eventually be thin, I would NOT be posting these pictures. This is hard because I hate looking at them myself. There is a thin person hiding inside me and she's beating down the walls, trying to get out! It won't be long!

May 20, 2011

April 2011

Pre-Op, Day 15 (Me vs. the Scale)

Good Morning! I'm feeling awesome today and I hope you are, too!

I hated to go plop myself back on that silly scale that has refused to budge for so long now but as usual, that was the first thing I did this morning. I have to say that my scale has it's own personality. Maybe I should name it. lol Just when I was about to pitch it out, it surprises me! I have magically lost 4 pounds over night! Wow! I was so excited that I had to weigh twice just to make sure. 

So, by my calculations I have lost 19 pounds but I know that's wrong. I really should have weighed myself on my scale the same day I went to the doctor's for the first time. ADVICE: If you have not yet seen your surgeon for your first visit, make sure to jump on your scale at home the same day you go in because I would bet that there is a difference between your scale and his. The day I went for my pre-op class I thought I had lost 15 pounds. According to their scale, I'd only lost 9. So, technically speaking I have probably lost a total of 13 pounds since my first visit with my surgeon. Ugh! It seems like it should be more because pre-op has been torture! Ha! There I said it!

Insurance and Garlic!

Today was good! But had a few panic moments. I pre-admitted with the hospital for surgery next week. I knew that we would have to cough up some dough but I just didn't expect what they told me. I'm already paid a lump to my surgeon and have to have another $500+ by July 1. I already considered that and had it figured out. Now, I will say that we knew that the hospital fees would be separate. I was told today that I have to have $3,300 by June 23. Well, I didn't even get upset. I just laughed and thought really hard about going to the kitchen and taking my emotions out on every kind of food in there but I waited because they told me that they would have their financial office call me. So, I backed away from the kitchen....really, I thought there's no way I will be able to have surgery if I have to come up with that before next Thursday. Then the phone rings! It's the financial office! Will I be on my way to surgery or to the fridge (because I was starving...lol)? Well, I will be on my way to surgery. I do have to come up with about $850 by June 22 and they'd bill us for the rest. I still wasn't sure this was a go. Now, time to call hubby! He wasn't shocked at all and said don't worry about it. We'd have the money! What a relief! 

This is my 20% that insurance doesn't cover. So even though insurance approves, it doesn't make it totally free. I don't know about y'all but that's a lot of money to come up with in a week!

GARLIC! I know...I know! What does this have to do with anything? 

Well, garlic is in everything...even chili powder! Come on! 

Why the big deal? Well, I'm not suppose to have any garlic 2 weeks before surgery because it has blood thinning properties. Everything I look at has GARLIC! I just want to scream! Is there anything I can have that is normal? Okay, so that is my rant! Sorry, just had to let it out.

Good evening!

Pre-Op, Day 14 (Another realization!)

Good Morning! What a weekend! Emotions were all over the place. I really struggled! Saturday was the worst. I did my 2 shakes throughout the day and was starving! By the time supper came around, I was a crying ninny! I couldn't help it. I had a realization again! What was it? Well, okay, I'll lay it out on the table. I've never really gone a long period, on multiple days and weeks were I have felt deprived...were I felt very hungry and wasn't able to satisfy it. And that wasn't my only realization! I also figured out that I am quite an emotional person when I am hungry...I mean really hungry! And at this point, when I actually get real, textured food in my tummy...no matter what it is (because I could almost eat anything when I get to my breaking point)....a sense of calm and happiness comes over me. I'm no longer irrational! 

Saturday...oh it was hard! By 4 p.m., I was mentally exhausted. Once again, I was thinking why am I doing this to myself and it's only going to get worse. Once I have surgery, it will be at least 7 weeks until I can have real textured food. I play this game with myself nearly every day now. Game! That's not a good word. Let's say, I'm constantly having to tell myself why this is so important and what it will mean to me next summer when I'm eating normal foods just in smaller amounts and feeling satisfied.

I was so hungry and so sad and I was holding the tears back. I just couldn't cook supper for my family! I asked my hubby if he would get something for him and our son to eat out. They decided they wanted Pizza Hut pizza and Root Beer. He ordered extra so that it would last them a couple of days...since he could see how I was not handling, not eating so good! ;(  I was okay with that...I even welcomed it because I knew if I had to cook something savory for them and I had to eat a piece of fish and spinach that I would be beside myself. Then IT happened!!!! The pizza came...along with the smells and my mouth watering. I couldn't help myself...no, I didn't eat the pizza...I busted out crying. I had to go back to the bedroom and lay down. My poor hubby and son...they felt terrible! I hope I didn't ruin it for them. Did I say this is sooooo hard? Yes, I was having a moment of sheer self pity! After a little while I got up and fixed my fish and spinach. It wasn't pizza but it was FOOD! I started to feel better and wasn't feeling like poor me anymore. 

Because of this and the fact that my weight loss is at a standstill! I've decided that I may start doing a shake in the morning, then real food for lunch, then a shake at night. I think maybe getting something substantial in my tummy half way through the day will help with not feeling as if I'm starving by evening time and then it won't be such a big deal to just drink my shake in the evening. Also, I'm thinking that if I don't have my supper sitting in me all night that maybe my body will burn more. I don't know...I've been eating less than 600-700 calories a day and my weight is not budging. I'm so convinced that my scale isn't working but my husband thinks I'm just in a stall and in a couple of days it will show 5 pounds gone. I hope so!

I hope that all of you are handling this better than me. We can do this and we will! Have a great day!

Pre-Op, Day 11 (Made it through!)

Good Morning! Today is beautiful and I'm doing alright. I hope you are, too!

I told you yesterday that we were going to have a 2nd grade graduation party for my son. And we did! It was fun but I did find myself struggling to stay away from things I knew I couldn't have. I think it is all in my mind. We decided to go see Kung Fu Panda 2. What a joy! It was such a good movie. Although, the biggest joy by far was my son, who laughed through the whole thing while chomping, licking, and sucking on one of those huge, round, spiral, multicolored lollipops. He was a sticky mess! Got to love him! I really wanted to take a picture but it was too dark.

Before we went to the movies, of course, we had to eat. It was supper time! I was trying to find something that I could have that wouldn't jeopardize my diet. My husband suggested Panda Express. All I could think was orange chicken, fried rice, and an egg roll. My mind was in the food gutter! Ha! I was also thinking but didn't say it, are you out of your mind? So I looked up their menu and the nutritional values online. Well, I was well surprised that they actually had some healthy meals and they made some of them with their mindset on dieters. So this was good! I decided on the Wok Smart mushroom chicken and mixed steamed veggies. I have to say that the mushroom chicken was delish!!!! But there wasn't much of it. That's okay because I'm sure that if it had been anymore, it would have been too much. The veggies....oh the veggies! There were so many. There were mushrooms, zucchini, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, and green beans. I give a thumbs up to the mushrooms, zucchini, and the broccoli but the rest....well, they were not steamed enough. I couldn't hardly chew them. They were super hard! It was very disappointing. But believe me, I had plenty to eat. And I'm sure that the salt intake on the chicken alone was way too much, so I sure didn't need anymore.

CANDY!!!!! Why is candy everywhere? Why? Okay, I know why because people buy lots of it and they love it. Companies make lots of money and everyone's happy! Right? No! Not me...not anymore! I hated the idea that my hubby and son got to go into CVS and pick whatever candy they wanted. Not because I didn't want them to enjoy themselves but because I knew it would kill me not to get to have the same pleasure. So, I went to the sugar free candy! I thought, "Here's my treasure of pleasure!" Wrong again! Wow, those things have lots of calories if you aren't careful. I did manage to find some hard candy that you could have 5 pieces for 40 calories. I only had 3 and they were just okay. I think what I really wanted was to chew....chew....really chew and savor something. Once again, am I still mourning junk and unneeded food? I think so. I'm kinda getting the idea that this is an ongoing process that will not happen over night. I suppose as long as I stay focused at the task at hand and mindful of my emotions when it comes to food, I'll be okay! Did I ever say this is hard?

Pre-Op, Day 10

Today is a little harder because I have to deal with only getting 2 shakes and a small meal. Am I going through a little depression? I think so. This is hard!

I'll tell you some of the things that I'm really struggling with. Today, after my son's swimming lessons, there was a pool party at one of our friend's house. They were going to have pizza, cake, and sodas. Honestly, that didn't bother me. But I knew that the heat (Texas heat) would be very bothersome on an empty stomach. So, I didn't even tell him about it. I feel so horrible that I can't even tolerate the heat for him. Usually, I would go, sit, talk, and watch. The heat wouldn't be fun but I would bare it for him. In the past, I could go to Sonic and get a big, juicy hamburger, and a Route 44 Dr. Pepper. Or just the Dr. Pepper. Yum! So back then I found away to get through it. Ha! But just sitting there watching everyone pigging out and smelling the smells while I couldn't even have a protein shake....I think it would put me in tears. Okay, so it bothers me a little! This is all new and I suppose I'm still in mourning. And plus, how do I explain to everyone why I'm not eating anything when I'm trying to stay hush, hush about this.

Another thing that is bothering me is that my son ask both my husband and I today why we haven't had his 2nd grade graduation party. The party usually consist of the 3 of us eating out or a movie...something like that. Anyways, my hubby told me to think about what we could do. I really, really want to go to Texas Roadhouse...but I can't have red meat while on my pre-op diet...so no steak! I'm thinking, though, that we could still go. I could eat 3-4 oz. of grilled chicken, some salad with little to no dressing, and green beans. That's doable! Well, I have to update you on what we end up doing.

See what I mean, everything revolves around food. Everything! I will definitely be a person that will have to find something to do to keep busy. Maybe going back to crafting or puzzling is an idea.

Change....change is coming!

Pre-Op Class, a few more things...

I wanted to touch a little on the medications that I was prescribed yesterday. The vitamin K is for thickening of the blood. From what they were saying, after I have taken all of these, then the morning of surgery they will give me a shot in my tummy area with something that will start to thin my blood. They explained why they were doing all of this but it was kind of confusing. It's supposed to help prevent blood clots. I'm sure they know what they are talking about.

Zofran! I got a prescription for one pill and that little pill I will take the morning of surgery to help with nausea. Enough said on that!

Nexium! Well, that is for after surgery to keep the acid down, I think.

Also, let's talk about the protein shakes. I was told yesterday that if my protein bottle says....meal replacement that it will be too thick for me after surgery. I will have to find something that is thinner and more broken down....well, broken down meaning that my body doesn't have to break it down too much farther than it already is to get most or all the protein. I was informed that I'm probably not getting all the protein I need with what I'm consuming now because part of it will never break down. Ugh! He suggested Advocare Muscle Gain but ohhhh, that stuff is expensive.

Okay, I just went to look at some of the notes I took yesterday. I can have 20-30 grams of protein per shake or meal. Now, the carbs are tricky! If it is a shake, I can have equal to or less than the amount of protein in it. So if the shake has 22 grams of protein, then I can have 22 grams or less in carbs. It's not the same though if it is actual food. He didn't give me a number but he said that carbs in food need to be kept really low. What the exact difference is, I don't know but I'll stick with what he says.

Also, I still have to stay under 1,000 calories a day. He made it perfectly clear that I didn't have to get up to 1,000 but just gave the guideline of no more than 1,000.

So that's the scoop for now!

Pre-Op Class

Good Morning! I'm actually doing pretty good but I have some complaining to do. Just know that most of this today will be me molly-gaggy! Sorry in advance!

I'm really curious about others' pre-op class and how long it took. I was at the class yesterday for almost 6 hours. Talk about exhausted! I knew it would be a long day but I thought that most of the day would be spent learning, seeing the doctor, etc. Not true, I spent hours just sitting there waiting ... and waiting! I just think that they try to schedule way too much in one day with wayyyyy tooooooo mannnnyyyy people. There were probably about 15-16 other patients there. They told me that the first one in would be the first one out! I'm very sure that was a false statement because I was like the 3rd one there and was the 2nd to last to leave. What??? It was so not fun! First off, we were supposed to be there at 12 p.m. So I thought I was doing good to get there at 11:30 a.m. I was shocked to see others that had been there for a little while. They call you back...one at a time! Ugh! Weigh you! Take your blood pressure! Send you down to the hospital pharmacy for some Vitamin K, Zofran, and Nexium. That, with insurance, cost $100!!!!! I was really and still am having thoughts of, wow, will I be able to afford prescriptions as I go through all this. Not to mention the protein shakes!

Anyways, I spent the next almost hour and a half waiting....yes, sitting there day dreaming into a white, very white ceiling! I didn't bring anything to read or do! Ugh! I didn't think we'd have time for that. I did have my phone but my battery was going down quickly. A staff member finally broke the major boredom by coming out and telling us to follow him...it was time for class! Really? No really?

So here we all go towards the elevators. Sooooo many people tried to squeeze on to it. But a few others and myself decided to wait for the next ride down.

So the class was very informative but they had very few handouts so it was really chalked full of tons of great information but there was no way to keep up with writing it all down. They told us we should go online and download the entire 115 or so page presentation and print it out. More money!! lol I just have to laugh. A month ago or so when I was in their office for my first appointment, they were gathering the books together to take and give to the patients in class. Boy, my timing is bad!

I know I'm doing a lot of complaining but it was mainly because it just seemed to chaotic and there was so much time spent waiting for other people to go through their line. I'm really thankful that I have a doctor that is thorough enough to make sure we understand what it is exactly that we are getting ourselves into.

With that said, I will finish up. After the 2-3 hour presentation, we all loaded back up and went back upstairs to the office. MORE WAITING!!!! Really? Oh my gosh, I thought I was going to go crazy. Talk about being somewhere and not being able to eat anything and gulp down sodas. It was a killer!

Finally, I was called back. We went over all my medical history, etc. Staff member dictated into a tape recorder. Hearing her say everything outloud and quickly...it really made me sound sick. Besides being over weight and a few minor things, I'm really a pretty healthy person. Then I was sent down the hall to see the payment man! He also went over what I have to do for my next two weeks. This is were I wanted to cry. This is getting serious now. lol I have to cut back to 2 protein drinks a day and one small meal in the evening. I know I can do this but AHHHHh! I don't want to. lol But I will!

Also, I was so disappointed to find out that my scale is wrong!!! Yes, wrong! I was showing that I had lost 15 pounds here at home but their scale shows that I only lost 9 pounds. What? Talk about depressing. I don't like their scale! I asked what kind of scale is the best to buy for home. She said a calibrated one. So, okay, I will work on getting another scale. More money! Once again, I laugh! This also means I will have to change my ticker on www.verticalsleevetalk.com. So that makes me sad!

I finally got out of there around 5:45 p.m. and there was still a patient out in the waiting room, waiting to be seen.

There's a few other things that I will touch on later. I have to take my dear child to swim lessons. Have an awesome day!

Wonderful Son!

This child is one of the biggest reasons I'm doing this surgery.

My almost 8 year old son just came to me after taking a shower and said, "Mommy, a year from your surgery you'll be a hot rod Lincoln!" Hummmm, I know that's a sweet comment because it's coming from him but just what does that mean? lol

I was a little crossed eyed but oh how I love this kid! I asked him why did he think I'd be a hot rod Lincoln. He simply said that he heard a song on the TV...you know the one...."you're going to drive me to drinking if you don't stop driving that hot rod Lincoln." And that it must be a fancy car if it would drive someone to drinking and then he said that I was going to be like that hot rod Lincoln! HA! I needed that laugh! I love him so much.

Sorry, I haven't updated in the last couple of days. I had my pre-op class today and it took 6 hours! Ugh! I will post about that hopefully tomorrow because there was a lot of information and confusion on my part...well a little anyways!

Have a good night!

Pre-Op, Day 7 (Realization)

All is good! Still not feeling deprived. It's so funny that I'm having the same thing day in and day out but unlike the first hellish days of the diet, I'm totally content with it. If you are just beginning your preop diet, be strong and stay steady. Be encouraged that it does get better by day 3 or 4 and much more tolerable by day  5 or 6. What's hard for me is cooking for my family in the evenings. But even that is much easier since I can throw a piece of tilapia with some olive oil, Mrs. Dash's Lemon Pepper, and just a sprinkle of salt into the oven. I feel pretty much satisfied after my tummy is full.

So this weekend, I had a realization that made me soooo uncomfortable. Everything...and I mean everything that I normally do revolves around eating. And eating lots of yummy stuff! Sitting at the computer isn't as much fun because I no longer get to slug down 2 huge cups of coffee with lots of creamer and lots of sugar. I didn't realize how much of a treat that was until now! When I started this diet I ended the cream and sugar and started drinking just plain ole black coffee. I thought I needed it to get on with my day. You know what, there wasn't anything enjoyable about it anymore. The glory and fireworks of all that extra fluff  had burned out. So now, I sit here without it...at all! No headaches, no irritability, nothing! And I'm okay!

Another realization! My hubby took my stepson and our son to see X Men: First Class. He wanted me to go but I had absolutely no desire to go. Do you want to know why? I could no longer eat the buttery popcorn, bags of candy, and drink soda pop! Ugh! It made me feel depressed. I was in mourning!!!! lol Well, I was! He told me that we just wouldn't get all of the junk. All I could think was, "How will I sit through a whole movie without shoveling something into my mouth!" It just didn't seem possible. So I didn't go. You know what I did? I sit at home and watched a movie! How stupid is that? Ha! I didn't eat or drink anything but water and a piece of gum. I made it through it! I enjoyed my movie! So why can't I go out to the movies and do the same? I have to do something about that.

It's crazy to think that I'm doing this to really live again but I'm already not living because I can't eat my way through something. I'm really, really going to have to work on this. Obviously this is a mental problem because my hunger isn't knocking my door down anymore. I'm going to have to make myself find something or some things that will keep me busy. My relationship with food...wow....I never knew!

Pre-op, Day 5

I woke up today feeling pretty darn good! YaY! Food was not at the top of my mind and I wasn't starving. AND I wasn't feeling sorry for myself anymore! I've read that when you're doing this type of diet that it is torture right at the beginning but then you become less hungry and just get "okay" with it. I didn't believe it until now. I'm hungry but I'm not a slave to it anymore. I feel happy! I feel like I have energy! I'm thinking clearer...hummmm....did all the sugar before cloud my mind? Probably! Did all the sugar and over indulgence make me irritable and cranky all the time...most certainly! I had already figured that part out along time ago. I knew that if I ate too much sugar or certain types of sugars (like high fructose in a McDonald's large coke) it would affect me for the rest of the day. I would be in grouch city! Ha! I had thought for along time that I was diabetic and the doctors were just missing something because I'd never reacted to sugar the way I have been the last couple of years.....although, I've suffered from depression for years (probably related to the sugar). Every time I'd get away from it for a little while, I'd feel happy and looking forward to my day. Just a note too...I just got the results back from all but one in depth blood study for diabetes. Well, all is good! No signs of trouble there...what a relief!

Yesterday, I talked about gaining 2 pounds back of the 6 I had just lost. Well, it must have been water or something because I got on the scale this morning and I was down 10 since I started this diet. So that is a grand total of 15 (5, I'd lost prior to the preop diet). I WILL BREAK IT DOWN: I was 280 when I had my first appointment with my surgeon on May 11, 2011. Dropped 5 lbs. between 5/11/11 and 5/31/11. Started my preop on 5/31/11 and lost another 10 lbs. by today, 6/4/11. That is just unbelievable!

Timeline so far!

Here's my timeline of my journey to approval and then when I started my pre-op diet.The process has gone rather smoothly. I had my moments were I was completely losing my patience...this would lead to a meltdown in one form or another! lol Crying, eating way too much because I thought I had the right to since I wasn't getting the answer fast enough. My goodness, I'm so glad this isn't going to take 6 months...I'd be a major pain in the butt! Ha!

END OF APRIL 2011:
I called UHC before finding my doctor to see what they would cover if anything but they could not tell me anything ... just that everything they consider is based on that individual and their coverage. They do not have a set standard for everyone across the board. This was really nerve racking because of course, I wanted an answer right then.

MAY 4, 2011
My husband and I attended the seminar.

MAY 11, 2011
I had my first appointment with my doc. Now, I had to sign something giving my permission for my other doctors to send records over. My thoughts were that they were having to gather all my past medical history and everything to send to the insurance company so it might take a little while.

MAY 24, 2011
I called my doc's office to find out if they'd heard anything because the insurance co. has 30 days to make a decision. I was told that they sent my case to UHC on MAY 18, 2011 and that usually if UHC had any request they would have heard back from them within 48 hours. I asked if they had any trouble with getting my medical records and was told that they never requested them...that they would only request them if UHC asked for them. Wow, i was really surprised by that. The doc's office seemed to think that this was a good sign.

MAY 27, 2011
The doc's office called and said I was approved and UHC required nothing from me. I couldn't believe it.

I don't know how they decide but if it matters, I am 5'5" and was 280 when I was weighed at the doc's office. My BMI was 46.6. Also, I'm not taking any meds for health problems although I have slightly high cholesterol and blood pressure...I was always told to watch what I eat to control both. Then in the last couple of months my blood sugar levels have been a little high and I'm actually waiting for results from in-depth blood work done last week to see if I'm diabetic. (NOTE: Just got a call today and I'm in the clear...no diabetes! What an awesome blessing!) Also, had my back out last year and was almost completely bed ridden for a month. All of this the doctor said he would put in my case because the insuance co wanted a good reason or two to have this surgery done besides the fact that I wanted to lose weight. I really don't know what was the big decider for UHC.

MAY 31, 2011
I started my pre-op diet.

FUTURE HAPPENINGS:
June 8, 2011: Pre-op class
June 23, 2011: Surgery

Pre-Op, Day 4 (Early Morning)

Good Morning! Well, I woke up not hungry and have apparently gained 2 lbs. back. What???? I'm eating no more than 1000 calories a day. All comes from protein drinks except my last meal of the day. I weigh or measure whatever I eat to make sure I'm not going over. Well, maybe those 2 creepy pounds will make a transformation to nothing by tomorrow morning. Ugh! But I'm not discouraged. I refuse to change my ticker just yet! So there! Ha! And I probably didn't drink near enough water yesterday. I'll work on that!

This is a life changing, learning journey! I started my preop diet a week earlier than I was supposed to, so I'm going to learn what works and what doesn't. To be honest, I was told by one of the doctor's staff not to eat any kind of fruit. Just to eat green leafy vegetables....NO PEAS! lol  So, yesterday all I ate was my protein shakes and then I ate a baked piece of fish for supper. I even weighed it and it was only 4 oz. I think were I may have gone wrong was eating a cup and a half of fresh strawberries. They do not have many calories and I made sure that I didn't get over a 1000 calories total yesterday. But maybe there's too much sugar in them! Hummmm...I wonder if that's why he said no fruit!!! lol 

My husband just thinks that I'm holding on to some water and salt. I don't know. All day yesterday, my ankles swelled...usually a sign of too much salt...I think. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's just temporary! Life is good and this is just one of those things! God Bless!

Pre-Op, Day 3

Oh my goodness, I want food soooooo bad! These protein shakes last about 10 minutes in my tummy and then I'm starving again. But I have to wait another 2 or 3 hours so I can make it through the day. Ughhh! I know I'm complaining but I just want to cry! ;(  I have to remind myself constantly why I am doing this. This is so hard but I know that I will be so happy after surgery....maybe months after, when I get to start eating somewhat normal healthy foods. Time just seems to be creeping by and I feel every hunger pang 100 fold!

I'm done complaining! Thanks for listening! lol

On the upside of things, I weighed myself this morning and if my scale is right, I have lost 6 lbs. since Tuesday morning....that was less than 3 days ago. Wow! Well, if it's right, it's no wonder....I feel like I could eat a house right now! Ha! This will soooooo be worth all the hunger pangs this time next summer! I will be swimming in the pool with my family...in a swimsuit with no coverup. I just can't wait! I'm so thankful that this surgery is available....I'm so ready to feel excited about life again. I'm so ready to wear shorts again!!!!! I'm so ready to feel pretty and sexy again! It past time!!!! So here's to all that are willing to take that chance and change their life!

Introduction

Hi! I'm so excited to be starting this blog. You see, I'm in the mist of a life changing journey! After a lot of thought, research, anxiety, emotional ups and downs, deciding not to have the surgery, then deciding once again to have it, and just flat out realizing that without some help, I can't do this on my own....the decision was made to have the vertical sleeve gastrectomy. I will have surgery on June 23, 2011. This will be the beginning of a new way of life. It will not be easy...it's already hard! I started my pre-op diet yesterday and welllllll, I think I already had my first meltdown. lol More on that later!

I hope this will enlighten some on what a person has to go through to lose the weight using this tool...because it is truly only a tool. And no, this is not the easy way out...if you were wondering! Ha! I also hope that it might give hope to those who are considering this option. And I hope that any of my fellow sleevers, whatever stage of the journey your in, will be able to relate to my struggles, day to day whatevers, and triumphs! God Bless all of you!!!!