40 Weeks Post Op (And yes, I'm still alive!)

Oh boy! I hope I still have some followers out there. So sorry, I hope I haven't let anyone down. I've missed talking to my blogging friends. :(  Hope you're still there!

Though I've missed blogging, I've needed the break. We recently purchased some land and a home. The home has needed a bit of work before we could even consider moving into it. So, after an hour drive one way there and then an hour back AND all the work we were doing while we were down there...I was just too tired to even think of blogging. We've made so many trips back and forth AND I'm still schooling my son AND we've been passing around some kind sick...sigh! We are almost to the finish line though! I have a lot ahead of me over this next week or so but our plans are to move a week from this coming Saturday. YaY!!!!

I will tell you that I haven't been real religious about weighing myself lately. I suppose with everything going on, I just haven't made that a major priority. I know I'm not gaining and for the moment that's good enough for me. I WILL get back to it though hopefully real soon. The last time I weighed, sometime last week, I was down to 178 lbs. I'm in awe of it! That means that I have so far lost a total of 102 lbs. And the most exciting thing for me is that I'm not done! Big, HUGE smile!!!!

Now, for some NIVs! I've been mowing the lawn. This is something that I haven't done in probably 20 years. One, I was way out of shape. Two, I didn't want anyone watching me. And three, I was way out of shape! lol  I didn't think I would enjoy it but to my surprise, I loved it! It felt so freeing and so awesome that I could not only handle be that physical but that I couldn't wait to get out there again and again.

Another NIV! You know, way early on...somewhere back in my long ago post....I talked about my bottom half being my main problem. I talked about having huge legs that no matter how or how much weight I'd lost in the past, it just never seemed to change the shape of my legs. They would get smaller but still look really fat. Well, I'm losing different this time. I don't know why! All I know is that my legs are slowly slimming up. They're changing shape! My pants no longer suffocate my legs. I'm so happy about this.

And another NIV! I wore shorts for the first time in about 15 years. Yes, neither my husband or son had ever seen me in shorts. I wasn't sure about it at first but when my husband and son gave me compliments, I just couldn't believe it. It feels so liberating! As if I've finally been let out of big leg pants jail! I haven't worn them in public yet and nor do I plan on it anytime soon but I do see it in the future which is something I would have never dreamed of before.

AND another NIV! My thighs don't rub together any more! Love, love this one!

Okay folks, that's all I can think of right now. Miss y'all!

14 Weeks Post Op (Weigh In and Update on My Grandma)

I'm so happy to say that I've dropped a few more pounds since last Thursday. I'm officially down to 214 pounds. That's a total of 66 pounds lost. Let's see, I passed up my 3 month goal before I hit 3 months and I'm almost to my 6 month goal....I'm just past 3 months now....wow! My 6 month goal is to lose 50% of my excess weight which is 75 pounds. I have 9 more pounds to go! Can you believe it? I can't! This is one of the best things I've ever done for myself and if you're still sitting pretty on the fence and are not sure what to do, I'll tell you...of course, it's a decision you have to make for yourself but I would do it all over again knowing what I know now. It hasn't been easy but it has been a lot easier than trying to lose it on my own. I still have to make wise decisions when it comes to what passes over my tongue...right? And I have to remember to eat...this is a big one because my appetite is still very low. That's good but I don't want to lose all my hair or starve myself either. Oh...and I still have times where I fight my brain off of the food! You know what I mean! I'm usually not hungry but emotions can and will fly at times and my brain starts sending those horrible signals to who knows where but it makes me want to eat things that I definitely shouldn't... considering that I'm trying to lose weight. But you know what, sometimes I still have them....see.....

 Just kidding!!! Oh please don't scold me for that one....I just wanted the shock factor. he he

No....now this is what I had when the family had the Big Blue floats. It looks like a lot because the picture is huge but that is a 4 ounce little jar and it's just a little over half full. And I didn't eat it all!

I never made it to my 3 month check up so I don't have an update for you from the doctor. They called me that morning and had to cancel it because I was scheduled with the nurse practitioner and she called in sick. So, I now have it rescheduled for this next Monday and I will actually get to see my surgeon. Hopefully, he's just as excited over my weight loss as I am. And hopefully, my blood test will come out okay. I'm a little worried because I've constantly been exhausted, no matter how much sleep I get, over the last month, month and a half. So, we'll see!

Oh, I'm not sure if I mentioned in a past post that my hubby took pictures of me. When I looked at them I was devastated! Needless to say, I sure wasn't going to post them on here. I still looked just as fat as before! He assured me that the pictures didn't reflect a true image of what I really look like now. I told him pictures don't lie! Then I put the pictures on the computer and low and behold, I looked super short! I realized that when he was taking the pictures that he stood really close and was looking almost down at me. He's over 6 foot tall and I'm only 5'4". So it made me look very short (squished!) and super fat! So eventually I will have him take the pictures again but I haven't been ready again because I'm afraid of what the outcome will be this time.

Since my grandmother has been sick and in the hospital, I've stopped writing everything down....yes, again! I just decided to try to do my best at making sure that I was getting in my protein and plenty of water. I was short sometimes but I couldn't help it. It has been incredibly crazy over the past 3 weeks! I ran here and there...hospital, appointments, practices, homeschooling my son (Yes, if I haven't mentioned that, I do homeschool my son and it's a full time job.), and hospital again...and more running here and there! Sometimes life is so unpredictable and you just have to do what you have to do.

My grandmother? Well, at the beginning of this week, we all thought she was going to die. I've never seen anyone in the state that she was in. I went into CCU to see her and she was moaning. Constantly saying, "ohhhhhh....ohhhhhh". It broke my heart! Her eyes were glazed over and her head would thrash back and forth. She wouldn't respond at all except she would stop for just a second and look at me when I'd say, "Grandma" really loud. For just that second, I'd think she was going to respond but then she would go right back to her thrashing and moaning. The doctors wouldn't even give us a glimpse of an outlook. I think they thought she might not make it either.

Then, Monday night, all the sudden, she snapped out of it somewhat. God's divine intervention! She was responding and talking a little bit but not making any sense. Then as the days past, she got a little better and then a lot better. Now, she still has a very weak heart that still needs attention. And her kidneys are still not working. She's having to go through dialysis about every other day. These things are still very scary and very real to us but we'll take one day at a time. But they did move her into a step down room from CCU and now we can actually stay in her room with her all the time. So there's another huge improvement. I went to the hospital on Wednesday and she was joking around and letting the nurses have it when she thought necessary. lol She told the cardiologist, which by the way had seen her a ton of times but of course she didn't remember...but anyways, she told him when he walked in that if he was a doctor that he could come talk to her but if he was a priest, that she didn't need him anymore! Ha! I love it! Even the doctor committed that this was the first time he'd heard her talk so much and make sense. They also took her heart pump out and placed a feeding tube last week. Now, they have removed the feeding tube and she can eat or drink whatever she wants. No limits right now! She wanted to get out of bed and walk but they had put a temporary port on her legs for the dialysis and it made it impossible for her to get up. So they plan on removing that and putting it on her neck. They are a little concerned about removing it because of the medications she takes that thin her blood so much. They don't want her to bleed to death. Anyways, she has a long way to go but I'm so excited about her turn-around this week. I was totally shocked! Thank you all for your prayers and please keep praying!

Excess Weight and Goals AND Am I Really a Slow Loser?

Just so you know, just in case I haven't mentioned it before, I have continually felt as if I wasn't losing near fast enough after surgery. I'm sure that the 4 week stall I went through didn't help me any mentally. Also, when you jump on the forums and you read about all the people that are in about the same time frame you are out from surgery and their weight just seems to melt off...now, that's frustrating! I had got to the point that it was just too depressing to even jump on there and read anything. Okay, with that said, I really think that there's a lot of misconception out there about where we should be at any given point in this sleeve journey. My dietitian gave me a whole new perspective on everything. First of all, everyone is different...okay, we all knew that yet we still manage to compare ourselves to each other. Second, with that said, most of us start out at a higher or lower weight that some and our heights are different. Third, how do we know that all of our bougie sizes are the same....or for that matter, even if they are, some people can tolerate more water, more food at an earlier stage. I believe that the sooner a person is able to eat more normal foods, the faster their body tends to level out (in other words, our body stops freaking out) and we start dropping at a faster rate. So after my nutritional class, I've learned so much and have actually come out of it feeling like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

So the other day when I went to my nutritional class, we discussed what the meaning of excess weight was. She, my dietitian, said that there's no magical number. It's simply the extra weight that you have to lose to get down to your goal. Your goal is whatever you think you should weigh when it's all said and done. Nothing more to it! So, I already had a goal in mind, 130 pounds. I've been there once before in my mid-twenties and probably could have lost an additional 10 pounds on top of that. Oh and she said that you should count the weight you lost before surgery during pre-op. So 3.5 weeks before surgery when I started my pre-op diet, I weighed 280 lbs. So at that point my excess weight was 150 lbs.

Now, when I hit 3 months post op, I should have lost 30-35% of my excess weight. So, 35% of 150 lbs. (excess weight) would be 52.5 lbs. So let's say that there are 4 weeks in a month...we all know that this can vary....so I'm guess-ta-mating (Ha!) that somewhere around 12 weeks out, I should be at my first goal of losing 52.5 lbs. That would be around Sept. 15. That leaves me with about 3 weeks to lose an additional 7.5 lbs. to hit that goal. How exciting is that? I couldn't believe it when she went over all of this with us. Here I was thinking that I was a slow loser and I was afraid that my surgeon would be very disappointed in me when I go for my 3 month check up. Ha! Not so!

Other goals later down the line....6 months, I should lose 50% of my excess weight and at a year, it should be 75%.

I think part of the problem is that when you're going through the process from the beginning until whenever they finally start talking about goals, you're just kind of out there floating around and trying to figure things out on your own. You don't really know where you're supposed to be at whatever that given point is in your journey. I think they should talk about this before you ever have surgery so that your mind and your emotions aren't all bent out of shape. It would have saved me a lot of grief. Oh well! Hopefully this post will lift someone elses spirits.