40 Days Post Op, (It's Been a While!)

Hi! Yes, it has been a while. Sigh! I suppose that I just wasn't very motivated to jump on here and update. I had really started thinking that this surgery was pointless. It just seemed like no matter what changes I had made, the weight just wasn't going to come off. I think the number on the scale plays a big part on my emotional state sometimes. I would even go days without weighing because I just knew it hadn't budged. Well, I'm very happy to report that "NO," my scale was not stuck and neither was I. The scale wasn't moving but my clothes were getting loser. There's a sign for me! Ha! Even though I knew that, I was still very convinced that this was all for nothing. I know, sad! Then, finally, this last Friday the scale slowly started going down. At first, I thought it was just that the scale was a little off compared to the other days that I weighed. Then I thought, it's the clothing that I'm wearing. Nope, it was really my weight going down. So, since Friday I've lost 6 pounds. That's a short 5 days! That's 1.2 lbs. per day! Okay, I know, I'm getting technical! lol I can't help it.

So, here's my weight loss breakdown so far.....25 lbs. during 3.5 week pre-op (started at 280...then, day of surgery...255).....10 lbs. first 2 weeks post op (started at 255...stopped at 245).....nothing for about 4 weeks (Plain old cross eyed! Sigh!)......then, the 6 pounds I just lost. That brings my total weight loss so far to 41 lbs. and I feel pretty awesome! So I started at 280 lbs. and am now at 239 lbs.

Things are looking up! If you're in a stall, keep doing what you're doing and it will come off.

FOOD? Huummm...well, yes, I'm getting to eat more than protein shakes and soup. Thank goodness! lol But ...okay, hang on to your seats...I have just a tiny bit of moaning to do...lol...  I'm getting really tired of the same old things and then the lack of veggies and fruits. I miss them! It's almost time for me to have those things again so I'm getting excited about that. I'm so looking forward to a mouth watering salad, cantaloupe, and watermelon. Not that I will have a lot of room for them but hey, even a taste to run across my tongue will be decadent! Also, right now, trying different types of meat can be tricky. Some are perfect for going down my esophagus. Then there are some that feel like they get stuck. In fact, I've eaten canned chicken, crock pot chicken, and chicken cooking in a skillet and they've gone down fine. But we bought these healthy pre-broiled chicken patties so I would have something a little different. They seemed very moist after I heated it up. For some reason though, it didn't go down good at all. In fact, it felt so stuck that I thought I was going to throw up. I had only eaten a bite or two. My husband thought that maybe I didn't chew it well enough or I was eating too quickly. Both are possible but it could just have been the chicken. Eggs sometimes feel as if they are about to get stuck but then they never do. Anyways, I was starting to panic because it felt really bad. My hubby said to take a drink of water. So I did. Then I threw up about 4 or 5 minutes later but it was totally clear.....no food. So I think the water came back up...makes me think that yes, indeed, the food was just sitting there blocking the way to my stomach. Scary! After a little while, it went on down and I felt much better. Our doggy got most of the chicken. Lucky her! Besides that, eating has been going fine. I still don't have much of an appetite. I have to really remind myself to fix something for myself and my son during the day...I'm just not hungry. Every once in a while, I feel a little bit of true hunger but rarely. Then there are times when I'm not really hungry but my mind says, "Oh, that looks really good or smells really good!" I will start off by feeling really sad that I can't eat a whole plate full but then something really interesting happens, I take one bite....chew, chew, chew....take my second and maybe my third bite...chew, chew, chew....and THEN feel totally disgusted by the food and could care less about it. That has even happened with a iced mocha drink. I never would have dreamed that that would be my relationship with food....a love it, then hate it, and leave it relationship. I love that that is how things are now. I'm still a bit self-continuous in restaurants because I'm sitting there thinking that people think I'm starving myself. My husband and I will decide on one meal. When it comes out, I cut a very small portion off for myself and then the rest goes to my hubby. I really don't want anyone thinking that I'm starving myself because believe me, I feel totally stuffed when I finish...like I just ate a huge meal, plus seconds, plus dessert,...OH and soda to wash it all down. lol