30 Days Post Op (Lemon Juice and Pain)

Hi all! I'm actually feeling great as of yesterday. I think I figured out why I was having the pain under my ribs on my left side. And NO, it wasn't gas! See, the doctor's office doesn't know everything. After I started soft foods, I went to my old fall back which I love...packaged tuna and lemon juice. So, when I started having the pain that came out of no where, I just couldn't figure out what was going on. About 3 days ago, I went all day eating other things besides tuna...then in the evening I had my tuna and lemon juice and low and behold, I started having the pain again. It hit me! The lemon is highly acidic. DUH! I just wasn't thinking. Here I am taking an acid reducer every day and then I'm turning around and feeling my delicate little tummy full of acid. No wonder it was hurting! So I haven't had any lemon juice since then and guess what, I haven't had any pain at all. Mystery solved!

27 Days Post Op (Pain Under Ribs and Incision Bothers)

Good Morning! Everything has been going good except a few things. 

First, I've been able to get all my protein in over the last 4 days....if I remember right. I finally figured out that baked fish or chicken is too hard on my stomach right now. Even when it is soft it seems too dry or something and hurts when it goes down. Now, canned chicken or tuna goes down pretty smoothly with a touch of lemon juice or light mayo. 

Second, I still don't have much of an appetite and I have to remind myself to eat. Although, last night I found myself wanting something sweet. That seems so weird considering my want "NOTS"  ...lol...through the day. I didn't have anything...just some more water. It wasn't a TAKE-ME-OVER feeling...it was just a little craving. Hopefully, I don't feel too much of that from here on out.

Third, my weight....ugh....it doesn't seem to move! Very, very frustrating! I'm still getting only 500-700 calories a day.

Fourth, my incisions! Well, they do okay, then they leak again and the one will have more pus coming out. I talked to the surgeon's office yesterday and they said that some discharge is normal. And that if I'm not having any pain or fever, it will be okay! I am definitely keeping an eye on those babies!

Fifth, I have pain under my left side ribs. They feel like really bad cramps you get when you run. The night before, the pain woke me up in the middle of the night. It scared me! Then throughout the morning hours, it would come and go. Finally, in the afternoon when I spoke with the doctor's office, they told me it was just gas. That I wouldn't believe how many people call in with the same complaint of pain. They said to do the Gas X strips. So I did. It still came and went. Last night, I went to bed with the pain and got really uncomfortable. I tried to turn on my side and that made it worse. Ugh! I had to get up and walk...that seemed to help a little. I was starting to feel so good until this. Right now, I'm okay but it's still there. If you know anything about this, please chime in here and tell me all about it. It seems like the pain is right where my stomach is.

That's what's been happening! I hope y'all have a great day!

22 Days Post Op

Wow! What a difference a week or so makes. I feel so much better today than I did yesterday. And I felt better yesterday than I did the day before. Well, you get the point! Ha! Just a couple of weeks ago, I was standing in my room crying and asking my husband if I'd ever feel better. I'm so glad to say that that terrible feeling passed! Let that stand as some encouragement for anyone that's in that phase of this surgery. It's temporary! You will feel better! Just continue to rest, walk, drink lots of water (well, as much as you can), get in your protein (even when you don't want to), and sip on some apple juice (it always seemed to make me feel a little better...don't know why).

I don't know how much weight I've lost so far. The last check was on July 11 and I had lost 32 pounds since pre-op started. I'm happy about that but can't wait until I feel like I can really focus on the weight loss. Right now, I'm still just trying to get my protein and liquids in. Also, I started soft foods and I never thought it would be so hard. I can't get more than 2 ounces of soft foods in at one time. Not to mention the fact that food does not taste the same to me. I'm soooo not interested in it. I really like that food is not an obsession anymore but I hope I find some enjoyment in some foods in the future. I feel like I could easily not eat anything.... I wouldn't do that because I want to stay healthy. I really thought that by now, I would be down to drinking only one protein shake a day and getting the rest of my protein from food. Ha! This is definitely a process and a challenge. I never thought I'd have this problem. I'm sure that this is just really hard to get used to and as time goes by, I will be reporting on how much I love food again and that I'm down to one or no protein shakes.

The only problems that I'm having now are the pain in my left side, still don't have all my energy back yet, and feeling yucky in the mornings. The pain in my left side that is right above the incision where they took my stomach out, it doesn't hurt all the time but it seems like when I bend, twist, or am trying to get in the truck, it pulls. I get this real sharp, burning pain. It's almost as if it's trying to pull apart. The doctor's office says that this is perfectly normal. I don't care to take any more pain medicine because it makes me sleepy and draggy. Also, I wouldn't be able to drive. I know I can take liquid Tylenol but I don't want to drink anything that will taste bad. I know it sounds silly but after all the liquid that has past over my tongue in the last 3 1/2 weeks...no thank you! lol If it got bad enough, I would take something.

I have a lot of energy back but I still have a ways to go. I can't handle the heat outside at all! Then  just doing things that are inside, like laundry, cooking, dishes....I can do a little, then I'm ready to take a nap. Last night, I made a chicken, cheese, and rice casserole for my husband and son...after that, I had to rest in the recliner. lol That makes me feel horrible that I can't muster up enough energy to get through the day without a nap. I have never been a big nap person. For at least the last 3-4 weeks, I have taken more naps than I have in my entire life, I think! This will soon pass, too. It's not too bad but I feel guilty because it is during the summer and my son is stuck with me all day. I did tell him though that in about 3 weeks I would take him swimming. That's when I will be released to swim, bathe in a bathtub, etc.....not just showers! He's excited about that but it seems like a long time.

Mornings! Oh my, I almost feel sick in the mornings. That's not good because my normal routine is to hit the floor running. I normally get up in the morning during the week,  feed and take out the dog, start the coffee, fix lunch, and breakfast for my husband so he can run out the door. For some reason, I am sooooo weak when I wake up. I don't know if it's just the fact that I don't get many calories during the day and then I go all night without anything. Or if it's that I'm dehydrated. I just don't know! The first thing I do after I let the dog out is start drinking 4 oz. of apple juice. It seems to help me feel a little better. I'm hoping this rotten feeling in the mornings will pass too. Anyone know? Anyone else have this problem?

I'm still very happy that I had this surgery and yes, I would do it again in a heart beat. My clothes are getting really lose but I'm still not down to the next size. That's okay though! It will come off. My husband called me baggy britches last night. I didn't know what to say....that felt so awesome to hear those words.

Protein and liquid

This will be short! I'm just venting a little bit. I hate liquid....well mostly! I'm just sick of drinking and drinking and drinking. I want something solid in my mouth so bad. I've even begged my husband to let me just suck on some fajita meat. lol I know that sounds so disgusting but hey, this has been a really long process and my mouth being deprived of chewing is just almost too much. I realize why I'm doing it. I also will continue to do it until this coming Thursday when I finally get my mushies. Aaaahhhh! Sigh! I'm not really craving anything in particular and I'm not really hungry, I'm just sick of liquids. I want to gag!

Okay, thank you for putting up with me. Sorry for complaining but this isn't easy and it's nice to let it out sometimes since there's nothing else I can do about it. Aaaahhhh!

Pictures of Me in 2007-2008 After Losing 70 lbs.

Back in 2007-2008 I decided to start eating healthly and I managed to lose around 70 pounds. I got down to 190 pounds when I stopped losing weight. Some of these pictures are within the process and some are after I got to my lowest at the time. During this time, I felt so light and young. I felt free to do the things that I enjoyed. I didn't hide from the world. I can't wait to not only get back to that point but to go even further.

I started gaining weight back when I had to go back to work full time. It was a very stressful job! On top of that, we were having problems with are teenage daughter. Stress and heartache took over. I ate for the comfort. 

Pictures of My Stomach

This is not a pretty sight! These pictures are of my tummy 8 days after surgery. I was about to go to my first post op doctor's appointment to have my staples removed. There are 7 total incisions. The biggest incision that is to the right of my belly button with 4 staples is where they pulled my stomach out. Directly above that incision is a dent that I still have. It's hard to see it in this picture but it is there. All the brownish spots that are away from the incisions are glue.

Home Sweet Home

It's been 15 days now since my surgery and I feel better than ever. My tummy is still a bit tender and there's an area on my left side that seems to burn inside when I move around but it's not too bad. I stopped taking my nausea and pain medications as of 4 days ago. I've done fine. Yesterday was my first day back behind the wheel and it felt so good.

Now, the last 2 weeks have been full of pain, frustration, depression, and NO energy what so ever. It was really hard! There were days that I felt so zapped of energy that I would just cry. I felt sick and like I would never get past this. It is really amazing that no matter how you try to prepare yourself for something, no matter how much you read, and no matter how many people you talk to ... no one or nothing can prepare you for the emotional battle you are about to go through. Even though I knew what to expect and that it was short term, being in the mist of it all, I couldn't see the light. I asked my husband several times if things would ever get better...as I had tears coming down my face. Of course, he always reassured me and reminded me of how far I had come.  

I think also, the constant flow of liquid and protein throughout the day made life feel really grave. And at the end of the day, I still hadn't gotten enough protein and had only managed to get in 15 to 20 ounces of fluid. No easy task either!

After, around day 8, I could tell my stomach wasn't as swollen. Drinking was becoming a little easier but I still wasn't getting a lot down. It was still very daunting!

With every day that has pasted, it has gotten a little easier! I don't feel gloomy anymore and am starting to get excited about my future. Before the last couple of days, all I could do and think about was doing what it took to survive and thrive. I really could have cared less about losing weight. Now, though, it's still not easy but is easier and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm looking forward to getting to were I can focus on weight loss. I have a little less than a week and I will start my mushy food stage. YaY! I need something solid in my mouth. 

I want to say that I am so thankful that I had this surgery done. In the last 2 weeks, I had buyer's remorse. I wondered why in the world I did something so stupid. But now, I'm starting to feel more like myself, my energy is coming back, and I'm ready AND I'M HAPPY! So if you are just in the beginnings of all of this, please be encouraged that it does get better. I know that I am still recovering but better times are right in front of me.....and that is so for you, too!

Surgery and Hospital Stay (Part 5-Leak Test-Second Day)

They woke me up early in the morning...not sure what time it was but it felt really early. My pain and nausea medicine had worn off. I was starting to feel nauseated but I didn't put two and two together. A couple of people came in with a wheel chair and informed us that it was time to do the leak test.

As they wheeled me to a waiting area for patients, with my husband by my side, I started to feel sick. Then a nurse came and got me. As we traveled down this long hallway, I told her that I thought I was going to throw up. I have never seen someone run sooooo fast! lol She left me in the middle of the hall and ran just as fast as she could to get something for me to throw up in. Of course, I don't know what I thought I was going to throw up because I hadn't had anything to eat or drink for about 32 hours. She handed me the container and I coughed and gagged....my mouth watered...then a tiny burp came up. For that moment, I didn't feel like I was going to throw up anymore.

On to the leak test room! I was feeling so weak and shaky. I wasn't sure I could stand up without collapsing. But they made me. There was this huge metal wall that had a metal floor on the end of it. They had me stand on that and took some x-rays. I wanted to sit down so bad. Then the wall started leaning back and I thought I was going to fall but they had a hold of me..thank goodness! It was a really weird and scary feeling.

They took some more x-rays. Then the tilted the table up to were I was at a slight angle. I was given some really nasty stuff to swallow and they ran this scanner thing over my chest and stomach as the liquid went down. I was starting to get sick...I could feel it! I did 2 or 3 more drinks and scans. They said I was good to go. No leaks! Praise the Lord!

They wheeled me back to my room. I thought if I went to the bathroom I would feel better. Nope! I thought if I brushed my teeth because I had an awful taste in my mouth, that I would feel better. No way! It made things worse! 

My husband helped me back in bed and breakfast was brought to me. It was chicken broth and a number of other things but I can't remember. I took one sip of broth and started to panic because I knew I was about to throw up. I was so scared of busting my staple line in my stomach. Then it happened! I threw up 3 times into a container. I was sooooo sick! I cried and was asking my husband if I was going to get through this and be okay. He reassured me even though I think he was scared too. The nurse came in and finally got some nausea and pain medication in me. Off to sleep I went! Thank goodness...knocked out of my own misery! lol

By the way, at some point we decided that the medicine that made me itch all over was what I wanted to take because it worked so well. So, I was put back on the same exact meds as the day before. Oh, how I wish we would have just stuck to it so there would not have been a gap in meds. I think that getting sick would have been avoided entirely.

I, then, woke up sometime in the afternoon and they brought lunch to me. I was feeling much better and was ready to drink my lunch. I had chicken broth again and some other liquids. I drank the whole cup of broth. When my nurse came in, he got on to me and said that that was way too much liquid for my new stomach. That I should have only taken in about half of it. My husband was upset and felt really bad. He said that he was so happy to see me feeling better and finally eating that it just didn't cross his mind that it was too much. The small bowl didn't look like much! And I was so full of drugs that I couldn't feel when my swollen stomach had had enough. Ugh! Lesson learned. We both worried for a while that my stomach was now damaged but as time went on, we realized that everything was okay.

Later that day, they came to draw blood. Oh my goodness! Here we were once again, needles in hand! Nurse after nurse came in trying to find a good vein. The poked and poked until I was in tears. My husband went out into the hall to let someone know that what they were doing wasn't working and it just happened to be the perfect time because there stood my surgeon making his rounds. My husband told him that he couldn't understand why all these people kept poking at me when I had an IV in my left arm that wasn't even being used. Why couldn't they just get the blood from there? My doctor comes in and takes over. He drew the blood from the IV and it was done with no pain in a matter of a minute or so. I just don't understand why no one else thought of that.

Then my surgeon makes me get up out of bed. He tapes my gown...yes, tapes it together. And makes me walk up and down the hall with him. Then he walks off for a minute and I go back and forth with my husband. A few minutes later, I look refuge back in my bed. Not good! My doctor comes right back in and makes me get up again...tape and all....back to the hall to walk some more. That's really hard to do when your so drugged up and sleepy. I know he just wanted me up so that I wouldn't get any blood clots. He also saw that I had pillows under my knees and pulled them out and said that that was a huge no, no. That my legs needed to me as straight as possible to allow the blood to flow freely. 

The doctor also told me that I was free to go home if I wanted but I was too afraid and asked if I could stay a 2nd night. He was totally fine with that. I'm so thankful he let me stay.

The next day, I took a shower and asked for one last shot of pain and nausea meds before I left the hospital. They agreed! Thank goodness! They also gave me an antibiotic shot and a blood thinning shot. I left sometime in the afternoon. I don't remember the drive home. I just remember getting in the truck and then getting out of the truck when I got home. My husband put me to bed. I don't really remember much until the next day.

Surgery and Hospital Stay (Part 4-First Full Day)

What a long day this was. I was in and out of sleep. I was in and out of pain. I was in and out of nausea. It was a hard day! My mouth was super dry and I begged for something....anything to moisten my mouth. The had these sponge things on a stick and would wet them down with something that didn't taste very good but I didn't care. At one point, my sister-in-law said that a nurse came in and was swabbing my mouth and I started sucking on the sponge...Ha!...she said that my husband panicked and told the nurse to get that thing away from me...lol. He was instructed to make sure that I had nothing and I mean...NOTHING to eat or drink until they could do the leak test which would be over 24 hours after surgery. I will say, though, that I don't ever remember my lips feeling chapped and dry. I even bought a new chap stick just in case but never had to use it. 

Back to the sponging thing on a stick! Later, my husband was swabbing my mouth with one but it was barely wet and I was going nuts. I begged him to get it wet so I could make my mouth feel better. He was so scared I was going to swallow something. I promised him I would spit out any liquid that came off of it and I did just that! 

Now, I don't remember everything but I do remember that at one point one of the medications was having a bad side effect on me. I'm thinking it was the nausea medicine. This stuff made me itch like crazy. I couldn't stop itching. I was scratching in my sleep! lol The nurse told us that I wasn't having an allergic reaction but that it was simply a side effect of the medicine. As time went on, my brother ... I guess he left for a while....came back in and said he had gone to the gift shop and bought me a present. It was a back scratcher! The best gift ever! And I told him that that was the most awesome thing anyone could have thought of right at that moment. I put that sucker to good use. My sister-in-law was afraid I was going to scratch all my skin off.

So, on to the middle of the night! The machine that was connected to my IV in my right arm had continued to ring the alarm all through the day and into the night. Every time I would bend my arm, it would set it off. My poor husband was so exhausted from getting up, turning it off, and making sure my arm went back to being straight. Then the medicine that was making me itch was worrying my husband because I was scratching my skin so much. He told the night nurse that he thought it was time to try something else. Well, of course, this was a different nurse than the one we had during the day and she wasn't sure if it was my pain or my nausea medication making me itch. She stated that after both had worn off, she'd switch to something completely different on both. I was worried because besides the itching, they were working great. She never came back and both medications wore off!!! Of course, neither my husband or myself realized that I was about to start feeling really bad. 

By the time a new nurse came in for the day shift, it was time for me to take my leak test.

To be continued.....

Surgery and Hospital Stay (Part 3-Waking up)

Waking up! It was so weird! All I remember is the pain. It was awful! I remember saying, "It hurts! It hurts!" Then, "Help me! Help me!" And a lady's voice replying to me that they were working on getting me something really quick. Then again ....not sure how much time had elapsed....she replies, "Ma'am, please quieten down...there are others in here!" I remember thinking..."so what, I'm hurting!" She was nice and I think she was just trying to calm me down. Or maybe she was just frustrated with me. I'm sure her job is not easy. I woke up at one point and she was sitting between myself and a man in another bed. He was talking to her but I don't remember what he said. I think we were both crying at the same time. lol She was probably overwhelmed.

So, I got to the hospital at 5:30 a.m. Surgery was at 7:30 a.m. It took 2 hours. They also found a large hiatal hernia and repaired it. I did not leave recovery until around 4 p.m. I know....crazy! I was still out of it but I remember her telling me that they were still waiting on a room. My hubby was worried and told them that since I was back there for so long that they needed to allow him to come back and see me. They don't normally allow anyone into the recovery area but this time they made an exception. I barely remember seeing my husband. I was well drugged up!

When it was time, they wheeled me to my room. The ride there...as far as I can remember was fine but when we got to the room, the person pushing the bed had a really hard time getting my bed in the room. I'm not sure if it was a man or a woman but they rammed by bed into the door several times. I do remember that but I don't remember being in any pain. Later, my husband told me that he was really getting quite aggravated with them. Now that a few weeks have passed and we received our survey from the hospital, he wants me to make sure to comment on how they run the beds into walls and doors. lol That they need proper training. I think if I hadn't been so well drugged, I probably would have been pretty upset myself but I could have cared less and barely noticed at the time.

After I got through the door, I saw my hubby, my mom, my grandma, and my brother. I remember how worried they looked. But I wasn't to concerned because there was no one there that I didn't tell I was having this surgery. I know that doesn't make much sense. I'll try to explain! I have always had a fear of waking up in the hospital surrounded by lots of people singing, crying, and praying! I told my mom a few weeks before that if that happened, I'd know I was dying and would probably go into a panic that would end everything real quick. lol I know it sounds funny...she even laughed... but what does everyone do when one is in grave condition in the hospital? They call all the others and they all come to your bedside to pray and possibly say their last goodbyes.

To be continued...

Surgery and Hospital Stay (Part 2)

So, once we were in pre-op, the anesthesiologist came in and put my IVs in with out a hitch. I one in each arm. Then my surgeon came in. We talked for a couple of minutes and I voiced one of my fears. I told him that I was afraid that when I woke up, I would panic because I wouldn't be able to get anything down. He said in that case, he thought he'd do a size 34 bougie on me but thought I'd do fine with a size 32. He explained that that was my decision to make and he'd come back in a few minutes and we'd talk again. My husband and I talked for just a minute and I decided that the smaller it was, the more likely it would be that I would be able to keep my weight off years down the line. Though, I don't think there's a big difference in a size 32 and 34. Maybe the doc just thought it would ease my fears if I thought I'd have some wiggle room. I don't know. Anyways, when my doc came back, I told him a size 32 would be fine and that's about all I remember before surgery.

Surgery and Hospital Stay (Part 1)

My surgery was originally scheduled for June 23, 2011 at 10:30 a.m. but they called the day before (I think... my mind is not so clear on this anymore. Hum!) surgery and changed the time to 7:30 a.m. This meant that I had to be at the hospital at 5:30 a.m. Wow! That was really early but well worth it since it was the first surgery of the day. I felt like my surgeon would be fresh and ready to go.

Because I had already registered and was ready to go, they called me an express patient. My husband and I only had to wait about 20 minutes and they had a pre-op room for me. The room was a normal hospital room...nothing special. Except the bed! You know, you always think that you will come out of the hospital with back aches and such from the bed. Not this time! The bed was made specifically for bariatric patients. It felt like a gel bed. I don't think that's the best description but it was so soft and conformed to my body when I laid in it. The bed would rise to a sitting position and the foot of the bed would bend to your liking under your legs. It was awesome! Then when you needed to get out of bed, the entire bed would lower about a foot and it would deflate. So, no it was not a gel mattress but it sure did feel like it. I wanted to take that bed home with me. Ha!

So as I wait in my pre-op room, many nurses come in and out. Taking my vitals, giving me a blood thinner shot in the tummy, trying to put IVs in....ughhhhh....you would have thought they'd never done that before. I've never had a problem with them finding a good vein. They poked and poked on me with those horrible needles and no luck! The only thing I could think of was that I had been taking a prescription vitamin K to thicken my blood for the 5 days prior to surgery. The last nurse that came in told me that she would try one more time in my fore arm where the veins are real deep....WHAT??...she said that she probably wouldn't be able to hit it but would try anyways. Oh my goodness, it was so painful. I sobbed! Then she announces that not only did it not work but that the vein had collapsed. And now, she would leave it up to the anesthesiologist. Okay, so why not just let him handled it after the first and second try. Why make me go through all that pain? Ugh!

Finally, they start to wheel me down to the pre-op room...which by the way was also the recovery room. I have to laugh thinking back because the lady that wheeled me down there was running my bed into walls and doors. I could see my husband's frustrations with her and especially when she asked him to walk behind her so she didn't run over him. lol He just looked at me like, what the heck! Then as we were entering the elevator and she was crashing into the doors, she told us she was blind in one eye. She said that back in 1980-something, they gave her 2 weeks to live because they discovered a brain tumor. She had the tumor removed and the only thing she ever had trouble with again was being blind in one eye. Wow! Now, I understand why she's crashing into everything and I was okay with it. She was a survivor! How awesome! Now, I don't know that I would have been so happy with that after surgery. Ha!

Okay, I will break this up a bit in a few post. I hope I'm not boring anyone.

I'm Back!

Hi everyone! I'm finally back to a somewhat normal routine...I hope! This hasn't been easy. I had surgery June 23rd and everything went wonderfully. I appreciate all the prayers and encouragement. And I'm sorry I'm just now posting. I really wanted to blog about my experiences thus far, I just haven't felt like jumping on this computer. So I think I will do this over the coming days because boy, I feel like I have a lot to talk about. Ha! :)

So now that everyone knows that the last thing I felt like doing over the course of the last 12 days was blogging, I'll share with you some of the feelings that have risen their ugly heads. lol My spirits have been really up at times and then I find myself in tears other times for different reasons. Sometimes, it's just the lack of energy. That's hard to swallow! I've never had a problem with energy, atleast not for this long. Sometimes, it's the frustration of having to have ANOTHER protein shake and thinking that I can't stand to take in another ounce of the stuff. It's pretty bad when your skin and well, everything smells like protein. Ugh! Sometimes, it's the fact that I wanted to eat my soups whole with chunks, not pureed to pure liquid. I had a night were I stood over the stove heating up what used to be whole raviolis and thinking it looks like baby food. I was in tears because I was having to eat that way. I knew this before hand. I read all about it. I was okay with it. I knew that it was for a short time span. But when you're in the mist of it, your emotions take control and sometimes you just have a meltdown. Sometimes, I just don't know why I'm feeling so blue. 

All I know, is that this is life changing and you don't, or at least I didn't change overnight. It's an ongoing process. I tried to prepare myself for what was to come but honestly, you can read books, forums, and such until the cows come home but there's just no preparing yourself for the emotional roll coaster and the lack of energy. Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad that I had this done and I've gotten as far as I have. It's just hard to hear people talk about how they had the surgery and within a few days they were bouncing around the house and weren't putting the breaks on. I'm very happy for anyone that this has truly happened to but for me, that was not my reality. It's not easy and life is forever changed!

I'm still very excited about what's to come and I thank the Lord that I'm still on this green earth to start this new life. I'm thankful that I was able to take advantage of this surgery. I'm thankful for my health!