Pre-Op, Day 7 (Realization)

All is good! Still not feeling deprived. It's so funny that I'm having the same thing day in and day out but unlike the first hellish days of the diet, I'm totally content with it. If you are just beginning your preop diet, be strong and stay steady. Be encouraged that it does get better by day 3 or 4 and much more tolerable by day  5 or 6. What's hard for me is cooking for my family in the evenings. But even that is much easier since I can throw a piece of tilapia with some olive oil, Mrs. Dash's Lemon Pepper, and just a sprinkle of salt into the oven. I feel pretty much satisfied after my tummy is full.

So this weekend, I had a realization that made me soooo uncomfortable. Everything...and I mean everything that I normally do revolves around eating. And eating lots of yummy stuff! Sitting at the computer isn't as much fun because I no longer get to slug down 2 huge cups of coffee with lots of creamer and lots of sugar. I didn't realize how much of a treat that was until now! When I started this diet I ended the cream and sugar and started drinking just plain ole black coffee. I thought I needed it to get on with my day. You know what, there wasn't anything enjoyable about it anymore. The glory and fireworks of all that extra fluff  had burned out. So now, I sit here without it...at all! No headaches, no irritability, nothing! And I'm okay!

Another realization! My hubby took my stepson and our son to see X Men: First Class. He wanted me to go but I had absolutely no desire to go. Do you want to know why? I could no longer eat the buttery popcorn, bags of candy, and drink soda pop! Ugh! It made me feel depressed. I was in mourning!!!! lol Well, I was! He told me that we just wouldn't get all of the junk. All I could think was, "How will I sit through a whole movie without shoveling something into my mouth!" It just didn't seem possible. So I didn't go. You know what I did? I sit at home and watched a movie! How stupid is that? Ha! I didn't eat or drink anything but water and a piece of gum. I made it through it! I enjoyed my movie! So why can't I go out to the movies and do the same? I have to do something about that.

It's crazy to think that I'm doing this to really live again but I'm already not living because I can't eat my way through something. I'm really, really going to have to work on this. Obviously this is a mental problem because my hunger isn't knocking my door down anymore. I'm going to have to make myself find something or some things that will keep me busy. My relationship with food...wow....I never knew!